A Lament for Barriss
by Jedi Ani Unduli
Summary: There is a time to be stoic, to be a perfect Jedi. But that time is not now. Not when you have seen a dear comrade fall and you have no explanation why.
1. Chapter 1

_I saw Barriss was declared the Temple bomber. Made no sense to me. She was firmly in the light both in the TV series and in the EU books/comics/etc. Why didn't anyone give a reason why she turned? Unless they're waiting for Season 6 so they can explain themselves. Which they better. *sigh* It is really, really frustrating..._

_Disclaimer: NOT mine, although if it was, I'd give Barriss a reason to turn to the dark._

_Only a few more steps. _A young girl stumbled down the hallway, towards the Room of a Thousand Fountains. She was almost there.

Tears threatened to blind her. How could this have happened? How could she have missed the signs? At last, she stumbled into the room, the scenery acting as a barrier against all the emotions pounding against her exterior.

_Why, Barriss? _Her mind screamed. _How could you have turned on us like that? How could Ahsoka, or even I, have prevented this? You were the perfect, the most obedient padawan! What happened to you? _

The war. Almost as soon as she had asked the question, the answer came to mind. It was this stupid, kriffing war. Full of darkness, full of death. One battle won, only to have three more spring up in their place. Conflicts sprung up between their Code and what they were forced to do to bring this war to a close. She scrubbed at her eyes, clearing away the few tears that escaped.

She had now approached the waterfalls. Using the Force, she leaped onto a ledge, then another one, and one more before arriving at the entrance to the caves inside. She ignored the veil of water she passed through; she could have been run through in her current emotional state and she wouldn't have given a damn.

Wet and dripping, she made her way further in the caves, garnering a few bruises and scrapes along the way. Her destination: the very center of the rocky interior. In the heart that lay underneath the waterfall was a vast cavern. It wasn't as big as most caves she had visited, including Ilum, but it would help shield her from prying eyes as she expressed her grief, as it had many times before.

Eyes completely cleared, she rounded a corner to see a seated Jedi Master, facing out into the expanse of the chasm. One in particular whom she really hadn't desired to see, not tonight. She stood as if frozen. She turned and was about to leave when a voice interrupted her movements.

"Stay." Almost as an afterthought, she added, "Please?" The voice was soft and the words weighed with grief and sorrow. With a sigh, the girl turned back around and sat down next to the Jedi Master. The rushing water soothed her irritated spirit a little, but not a lot. She breathed in, then out. Glancing sideways, she noticed the woman doing the same thing. It struck her then that she was probably suffering much more than she let on.

"I – I, I am sorry, Master," she choked out. "Really I am."

"Call me Luminara, young one," the older woman said, turning suddenly to face her. "Formalities are not necessary when grief is shared."

"Then call me Ani," the girl returned, meeting her look and returning it.

"Agreed." They looked back out to the chasm. "You were a good friend of Barriss, yes?"

"I was." Ani swallowed the lump forming at the back of her throat. "She helped me learn Mirialan tradition, was one of the first to welcome me here, in fact."

"Ah." Luminara hesitated. "She loves – always loved – to act as an older sister. She was thrilled at being a role model."

"She was a good friend." The memories rushed back, begging to be remembered, and as quickly as they came, so did her mouth run. "Sometimes, she told me, she hated being a role model. Said it was too much pressure for her to deal with. She never hesitated in teaching me the Code, even when I couldn't – or wouldn't – understand." The girl smiled wistfully. "We had many good 'debates', with me usually being the instigator."

"Barriss loved to debate, always politely, not the full-fledged verbal assaults that are the Senate. Very rarely did she lose her temper." The older woman's lips quirked up. "Once, she got tired of debating with a fellow youngling and, trying to persuade him, she flung her tray of mashed taters and gravy into his face, leading into a full-fledged food fight."

"That had been fun," Ani agreed, a small smile coming over her face. Luminara turned to look at her again.

"You were involved, weren't you?" It wasn't a question.

"Barriss mentioned me?"

"Only in a well-placed hint that not everything was truly as it seems." She held the young one's gaze. "Did you throw that tray?" Ani grinned.

"Barriss wanted to make a point. I felt his thoughts redirect towards the food served that day, so I told Barriss to lift up her tray. As soon as she did, a little Force push did the rest." Luminara gave a small laugh.

"She mentioned you a lot," she said. "She was appalled by your lack of focus, but one of the things she admired about you was that you never stopped trying to keep other beings' spirits up." The Jedi Master hesitantly laid a hand on the young one's shoulder, ignoring the almost-imperceptible flinch that accompanied most touches. "Don't lose that."

"Okay," Ani swallowed hard. "I, um, uh… Barriss admired your dedication to the Force." It came so suddenly that Luminara was startled. "I mean, she sometimes complained about your inaction or your stubbornness, especially later in the war, but she admired your dedication." Silence.

"Thank you," Luminara said. Knowing that touched her deeply, even though she'd deny it. "Look, I know it's hard, but we can make it past this."

"Right," Ani said, staring at her feet. "Mast – Luminara, may I say something?" At the older woman's nod, she continued, "The more I think about it, the more I think Barriss may have had a point."

"Why do you say that?" Luminara asked gently.

"Maybe because it could be true!" Ani shouted. "I mean, we Jedi have to make decisions that conflict with our Code, and that would have never happened if this war hadn't started!" She jumped up and began to pace. "We're always fighting, never bringing peace, never trying to stop this bloody war!" Luminara got up and went to the youngling.

"Ani," she said, "I know you're mad at Barriss, for her decisions and her turn to the dark side. Don't let her words affect your judgment. She turned to the dark side."

"I agree that what she _did_ wasn't right, but maybe we shouldn't be so quick to judge her _motives_," Ani shot back. "Maybe she wanted us to see that maybe we were on the wrong path, that we should have done more to stay out of this war or at least end it sooner. Maybe she just wanted to spare anymore Jedi from dying like so many have before. Maybe… ugh, I don't know." The girl returned to the edge and peered down into the depths. Luminara came over and stood with her, allowing silence to come back.

The Jedi Master heard the girl next to her start to sniffle. Sympathy rose, unchecked for once. The war was tough enough already. No one should have to see her friend and idol fall to the dark side. She turned and placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. The youngling turned towards her, eyes bright with unshed tears. A choked sob bubbled out of the girl's throat.

Ani threw herself towards Luminara and latched onto her with a hug, breaking down into sobs. Luminara returned the hug and felt her eyes tear up once again, this time granting them passage. Both mourned the same young woman: to the master, Barriss had been like a daughter, bordering on younger sister, and to the youngling, Barriss had been like an older sister she had never had, someone who taught her things and encouraged her to do better. More than a Jedi had been lost to the dark side.

"Why?" Ani sobbed into the dark cloth. "Why did she turn? What happened to her? Why didn't she say anything before? Why didn't anyone try to stop this? It's not fair!"

"Sshh," Luminara soothed. "I don't know, young one. We have been separated for so long, waging war on either side of the galaxy. When we would get together, we rarely shared our experiences. We only had time to discuss tactics and strategies, never," she swallowed, "for the aftermath. Maybe… maybe if we – _I_ had tried to connect with her more, tried to discuss what we faced, this wouldn't have happened." She looked down at the young one, still holding on in that famous death grip of hers.

"War has brought out the worst in everyone, little one, even in us Jedi. We have not adapted to this conflict, as we should. No," she held up a hand, forestalling the argument perched on the girl's lips, "not that we should change the Code to suit the circumstances of the war, but we should have done more to prepare ourselves for the vigors and darkness that inevitably comes with war." She paused. "This war is akin to the Trials a padawan must face in order to become a Knight, although much darker and more violent. I fear that this war will turn many Jedi into corpses, and the ones left over scarred and broken by the horrors."

"Barriss was right, then." Blue-green eyes met deep blue ones. "The Jedi have lost their way. We are fighting a battle that shouldn't have continued, the ones continuing this conflict. _We_ are to blame."

"No." Gripping the young one by her shoulders, the older Jedi maintained eye contact. "Mistakes we make and will make, yes. However, this war was started by Count Dooku and the Separatists, waged against the Republic and the ideals it stands on. We Jedi keep the darkness from consuming the Republic, not aiding in its destructive path. The Republic won't fall as long as we are around to defend it against the darkness." Ani's eyes turned sad.

"But what if the Republic is meant to fall, and we're too blind to see it?"

"What if it isn't?" Luminara responded gently. "Only the Force knows what is going to happen. All that matters is that we listen and respond to its call, protecting what we hold dear from being destroyed by the Separatists."

"That's just it. What if the darkness we're fighting against is really in the Republic we're fighting for?" Seeing Luminara's uncertain look, she added defensively, "And you can't say it's not that powerful because even the crèchelings here at the Temple can feel it. _I_ can feel it."

Luminara sighed. How to answer that question? She couldn't deny the pressing veil of darkness that had grown over the years. The source was as yet unknown. Barriss had believed that it came from within the Republic, but there was no way to confirm or deny what she said.

"There is no way to know if what Barriss said was true," she stated, keeping her hands on the young one's shoulders. "All we can do is fight against the dark, keeping our belief in the Force and each other strong. Someday, the Force will reveal to us the source of the darkness. Each battle won will aid in the defeat of the dark." Ani seemed to accept this, her eyes burning into Luminara's. She suddenly leaned into the Jedi Master.

"I hate waiting," she muttered.

"I know."

"I hate this war and the Jedi who die in it. Everyone's either dead, dying, or going to die. I also hate Barriss for not telling anyone and Ahsoka for leaving. They were some of the best Jedi in the Order, and now they're gone! I hate…" Luminara listened as the youngling ranted on, knowing that grief was the fuel for the words. Once the youngling ceased, she said, "I don't really hate them, Master. I – I – I'm just… frustrated."

"So am I, young one," Luminara murmured back, giving a hug to the initiate. "So am I." Lectures on controlling emotions and thoughts could come later. Sadness and grief would be allowed free reign tonight. The war caused many things to be pushed back in the dark recesses of the mind, including turbulent emotions that resulted from the fighting. All too often meditation and other Jedi activities were abandoned due to the burden the war placed on them. This was a chance to open up and allow the grief to wash all that away. Allowing their near-human selves the rare privilege of not having to be Jedi at the moment was necessary.

A comrade, a friend, had fallen. Now was the time to grieve.

Now was the time to let the tears fall.

_I hope you enjoyed it. Please tell me what you think of it._

_~Ani_


	2. Chapter 2

_This is the sequel requested by JediBarrissOffee. Enjoy! Please review when you get to the bottom._

_Disclaimer: NOT MINE (although I wish)_

Luminara looked back on that night with extreme thankfulness. It was comforting to know that there was at least one other person who mourned her former padawan's betrayal, even if that person was a youngling. What had happened after that brought a small smile to her face. Between sporadic bouts of crying they shared memories and stories of the Mirialan girl. A Jedi was not supposed to mourn, yet by doing so was she able to begin to come to terms with the recent events. That night she would never forget, despite the deeply instilled habits of the Jedi that included dissociation from emotion. The following morning had been a little bit dissatisfying…

_The morning after found the two asleep and curled up against each other. Despite the uncomfortable settings, the sleep had been peaceful and deep, without dreams or nightmares. Luminara had waken first and stayed where she was, drawing comfort from both the sounds of the water falling inside the cavern and the weight of the young one on her shoulder. The silence had been broken all too soon by the beeping of her wrist comm. She made to silence it when she felt the youngling stir. With a repressed sigh, she answered it as softly as she could. Mace Windu was on the other end, the Jedi Council requesting her presence in thirty minutes so they could discuss the events concerning her former padawan. She was about to ask for extended time when the message shut off. Sighing, she relaxed against the wall, contemplating waking up the youngling, when she heard:_

"_Ah don' wanna move." She looked to her shoulder, and the pair of blue-green eyes met hers in sleepy amusement. "Too comfy." _

"_Even with the uneven rock wall at your back," Luminara shot back, a smile twitching at her lips. _

"_Huh." Ani moved her arms and winced. "Maybe that's why. I'm stiff all over." _

"_You need to get your circulation going again," Luminara said._

"_Sure I can't just stay here?" The girl shot her a mischievous grin._

"_Positive."_

"_Really, really sure?" The Jedi Master bit back a sigh._

"_I'm getting up," she warned. _

"_Better do it quickly. I'm pretty sure I have classes today, and they start in ten minutes." Luminara used her hands to help propel herself far up enough so her legs could get the purchase on the rock that they needed. Once she stretched, giving feeling back to her limbs, she turned and held out a hand to the seated girl. Ani took it and together she was pulled onto her feet. Once she rose, she immediately started to stretch. An awkward silence settled between the two of them. _

"_Ani, I…" Luminara hesitated._

"_It's okay, Master Luminara," Ani said, giving her a small yet sincere smile. "I'm glad I could help. I… I got to get going." She bowed. "May the Force be with you." Within moments, she was gone._

More than anything, Luminara wished that they could have spoken to each other once more. The Council meeting had been slightly painful, as she had been questioned over and over by each member. They had determined that she knew nothing of what had gone wrong with her former padawan and told her that she could choose another padawan if she wished (translation: choose, or we'll choose for you). They had also informed her that Barriss's fate would be determined later that week. After the meeting, she had spent the day looking for the youngling, knowing that she deserved to hear it from her now instead of later. However, she had been spotted by Shaak Ti and "recruited" for a training exercise. That turned into three more training exercises, and it was three days later when she realized that she still hadn't found Ani.

_This is the Jedi Temple_, she reasoned. _How hard can it be to find one single youngling?_

As she was searching the study areas, she heard a beeping on her comlink. Stepping out into the hallway, she answered it. "Master Unduli."

"Master Luminara, oh thank the Force I got a hold of you," said the blue hologram of a woman breathlessly.

"Master N'vari." She bent her head in respect. "What happened?"

"Have you seen Ani lately?"

"Not since several days ago. Why?"

"Ani hasn't been in her classes all day. She's usually punctual and seated where the teachers can see her."

"Why call me?" Luminara asked, her brow furrowed.

"Yesterday we were discussing the upcoming trial and sentencing of your former padawan, and the youngling was abnormally pale. She also asked the most questions. We figured she had gone to talk to you about your _former_ padawan." Luminara winced internally at the disdain dripping from the emphasis. Wasn't it enough that she felt bad about it? Did she have to have more guilt heaped on her by other Jedi as well?

"Would you like me to look for her?"

"Yes," the woman exhaled, probably from relief. "I have classes to teach and more important things to do than look after that errant youngling. When you find her, I suggest you punish her in the worst way possible."

"Just because she missed class? That seems hardly worthy."

"She needs to be taught discipline and respect," N'vari hissed. "Your _former_ padawan's influence seems to have _tainted_ this girl." The Jedi Master stiffened.

"That was uncalled for, _Knight_ N'vari," she responded, emphasizing the infuriating woman's rank. "Barriss made wrong choices and she will pay for them, but besides missing a few classes Ani has shown herself to be dedicated to our ways. Remember, Knight N'vari: innocent until proven guilty." The blue figure fell silent.

"Just find her," N'vari stated, looking distinctly aggravated. "Please. May the Force be with you, Master Unduli."

"And with you." She pressed a button, cutting communication instantly. Better that than allow the woman silence to fill with implied insults. The woman sighed. How to find the youngling? She was most likely not in the Temple, if she was ditching classes. Unfortunately, she didn't know what the youngling's preferred hangouts were in the city expanse of Coruscant. Searching the entire area was out of the question, too much area to cover in too little time. She recalled Knight N'vari's words on the girl's reaction to the upcoming sentencing hearing of Barriss Offee. Perhaps that was a clue to the girl's whereabouts.

Either way, a visit her former padawan was long overdue.

Calm blue eyes met the steady stare being leveled her way. Barriss smirked at the pathetic attempt of intimidation.

"Can't you do better?" She taunted.

"I could, but then I'd get thrown out and couldn't ask any questions," Ani responded. She folded her arms over her chest.

"Go ahead," Barriss said. "The guards will probably ignore us. They don't like me."

"I wonder why," Ani said dryly. "I came for information."

"What could I have that you would possibly want?"

"Motive." She studied Barriss's movements, trying to gauge the traitor's thoughts. "I just want to know why."

"Why what?"

"Why did you betray your friend like that?" Barriss shrugged.

"Heat of the moment." Ani's eyes narrowed.

"Liar. You told Anakin that you learned that trust was overrated." Anger bubbled inside her; she quickly clamped down on it. That's what Barriss wanted.

"'Tis true." Barriss smiled. "You trust people only for them to let you down when you need them the most. Trust is the worst lie we believe."

"What made you think that?" Barriss studied her, then turned to face the prison wall.

"Don't know."

"Come ON!" Ani shouted, stepping closer to the force field, almost too close but she was too angry to care. "I want to know what's going on, Barriss. Your sentencing hearing is tomorrow, which means you will be dead soon. Dead! Don't you give a kark?"

"Not really, no."

"Barriss Offee!" Frustrated, Ani kicked at the screen, only for her foot to get shocked. Now there pain on top of her anger. Gritting her teeth, she asked, "Why can't you give any straight answers?"

"What's the point? Everyone knows what I did. They all think I'm guilty and deserving of at least death, among other things. What could I benefit from giving you answers to my motives?"

"Peace of mind, maybe?" Ani asked. "I was your friend too, or did you forget? You not only hurt Ahsoka, who left the Jedi Order –"

"Did she now?" Barriss Offee perked up.

" – but also me!" Ani glared at the Mirialan. "You befriended me. You taught me how to be a better Jedi. You helped me with my homework and the katas. You may have forgotten me, but I certainly remember you, and will continue to do so!" She took a deep breath and continued. "Is it too much to ask a former friend what happened to her before she either gets executed or rots in prison?"

"Why would you care?" Barriss asked softly, still facing the wall.

"Because. You. Were. My. Friend," Ani bit out. "I shouldn't care, but I do. That makes your apathy and anger pale in comparison." Barriss remained silent. Ani waited for several minutes, hoping her friend would talk. She was about to turn around and walk out when –

"Ahoska really left the Jedi?"

"Yes," she responded shortly, unwilling to say anything else.

"How long ago?"

"Almost a standard day."

"She doesn't have her lightsabers, does she?"

"No." Barriss sighed.

"Thought as much." She turned to look at the girl. "They're most likely in the archives, in the room where outcast Jedi lightsabers are stored. It's not that hard to get in, but sneaking out the lightsabers will be more difficult. You'll need this." She walked over to the force screen and held out a small black chip. Ani remained frozen. "Hold out your hand," Barriss instructed.

"What are you doing? Nothing can get through the barrier." Ani hissed.

"There's a weak link in the force field. Trust me, Ani." With that, Barriss began to concentrate on the chink.

"Won't they see?" Ani whispered.

"No," Barriss replied. "All they'll see is two people facing each other through a force field. The sound is still not working, strangely enough." She continued her work as Ani looked on, slightly terrified yet unwilling to move away. "Got it! Now, catch!" The chip fell into the palm, and Ani quickly pocketed it, still wary.

"Now, when you get into the room," Barriss began.

"Woah, woah, woah," Ani interjected. "Why me? Why now? How do I get into contact with her? And this doesn't explain why you did what you did."

"When you get into the room," Barriss continued, ignoring Ani's questions, "you'll need to plant this on the drawer where the lightsabers are stored. The door will open; grab the lightsabers and get out. The chip contains a small hologram that will activate as soon as you remove the lightsabers, giving the appearance that the sabers are still in place.

"As for contacting Ahsoka, I wouldn't imagine that difficult. She's bound to be on Coruscant with the bounty hunter. Asajj's lightsabers are already returned to her, so that's one less thing to do. Make sure to drop by my room, will you? I have a hologram that needs to be given to her as well. There's one for you too. Same message, different people, so don't open hers up. Besides, that's just rude." She smirked again. "I also wired it to respond only to your prints. Once you view the message, everything, including the security settings, is open to your adjustment."

"Why can't you just explain everything _now_?" Ani demanded.

"Because if I did, it would ruin the surprise I have for you." Barriss paused. "Also, your time is almost up." She nodded towards the corridor, which now had clone troopers marching towards them.

"Barriss…" Ani hesitated.

"Commander Laminara, your visiting time allotment has expired," Commander Fox stated. "It's time to escort you out of here, sir. Have you gotten anything out of the traitor?"

"I got what I came for," Ani smiled at him. She turned to face the prisoner, face solemn. "Goodbye, Barriss."

"Goodbye, Ani," Barriss said softly. "May the Force be with you." Unsure of how to respond, Ani just nodded and let the clones lead her away. Right before she passed out of the cellblock, she turned to catch one last glimpse of her friend. Barriss was leaning against the wall, feet tucked against her chest. She looked at peace.

The door slid shut and locked into place.

"Greetings, Luminara," Barriss nodded at her. "How have you been these past few days?"

"Barriss," Luminara returned the nod. "I have been well. Yourself?"

"I am doing better now, despite the prison food." She grimaced. "They really need to update their droids and work on their recipes."

"Ah." Luminara allowed silence to fill the gap. What else could she talk about? Usually the only fallen Jedi she had come across tried to cut her up, and they weren't her former padawan. What to talk about?

"Two visitors in one day." Barriss gave a small laugh. "I do feel special."

"Who was the other one?" Luminara asked. "Would I know her?"

"I doubt it," Barriss said bitterly. "You have made your feelings on half-blooded Mirialans well known. Even now you don't know what to do with her."

"The feeling is mutual with the rest of the Masters at the Temple," Luminara replied dryly. "Ani Laminara is… unique."

"Ah, so you bothered to learn her name. Congratulations."

"Barriss, you know why I acted the way I did. I discovered one of my closest friend's body in the same day I learned that she had a husband and a daughter. I was coming to terms with my grief. That doesn't excuse what I did, but I'm trying to make up for it." Barriss snorted.

"Right."

"It is the truth, Barriss." Luminara caught the other woman's gaze. "Now I'm trying to make amends again. What happened to you? What did I miss?"

"You didn't miss anything, Luminara," Barriss responded. "You were the best Master anyone could ask for."

"I know that's not true." Luminara stepped closer, mindful of the force field. "I should have noticed that the war was hard on you. I should have tried harder to get to know you more. I knew that you had nightmares, but I didn't ask you what they were nor did I act sympathetic. I should have done more. I'm so sorry, Barriss."

"You think it was just the pressures of war that got to me? You think I went crazy?" Barriss shook her head. "I don't know what's worse, your cold nature or your guilt complex. Luminara, I forgave you for everything. When I was on my own, I understood that all consequences, good or bad, were my responsibility. I accepted that. Yes, I was affected by it all, but war zones tend to do that to a person.

What happened to me…" she looked away and winced. "What caused me to change, that was not your fault. It was mine. I chose. And now I am paying the consequences of my actions."

"What happened to you, Barriss?" The Mirialan looked away. "Kriff it all, Barriss Offee, why won't you say anything?"

"There is a darkness out there," Barriss responded softly. "The darkness is always listening, always watching. If I say what happened to me, it will know, and it will hurt me, but not just me." She turned to Luminara. "Even as we speak, Ani is back in the Temple. She will discover what happened. The darkness will try to hurt her too. The Jedi won't care about her, just as they didn't care about Ahsoka or me. They will work with the darkness, thinking that it will bring peace and harmony to the galaxy, only to be betrayed as I was and ultimately destroyed."

"The Jedi would never let that happen," Luminara responded. "We will find Count Dooku and Grievous and bring –"

"Dooku is manipulated by the darkness," Barriss responded. "Grievous is manipulated by Dooku. The mastermind, the controller is hidden by the growing darkness. Few know who he is, if they are not dead already." She paced in the confines of her cell. "The darkness has been here before the Clone Wars, but it wasn't so large then. The darkness is through the Clone Wars, but no one knows who or what is the main cause. I don't know." She turned to face Luminara. "All I know is that the Jedi are being manipulated, that we are pawns of this darkness, and that we have been helping bring the darkness to its full strength."

"You don't know that for sure," Luminara reasoned. "None of us do."

"Yes, I do," Barriss responded. "I know you don't believe me, but it's true." She stopped right before her side of the force field. "I'm sure some of the Jedi Council members know it; they're just too cowardly to act on it."

Luminara had no response to that.

"Wow," Ani whispered as she entered the room. "Unbelievable." Drawers, pedestals, shelves lining the room contained many lightsabers. So many, in fact, that she was sure that each Jedi youngling and Padawan could have a lightsaber and there would still be leftovers.

"Now to find Ahsoka's," she muttered. "Barriss said something about a drawer." She started to look in the cabinets closest to her. It wasn't long before she saw the familiar hilts, third cabinet, fourth door down. She was about to open it when –

"Right, the chip." She pulled it out and, finding the correct portal, inserted it. The drawer slid open. She reached in and gingerly picked up the hilts. Well, they didn't seem booby-trapped, which meant she could continue a little less cautiously. As soon as the hilts were lifted up off the bottom of the drawer, a holographic image of the hilts sprang to life. _It _does_ work_, Ani thought, amazed. _I guess she was telling the truth. No one will notice unless they open the drawer and try to grab them._ She slid the hilts into her backpack and made for the door. _Now to see if she was telling the truth about the messages._

Luminara had arrived back at the Temple and was looking again for the girl. Barriss's words echoed in her mind, "_She will discover… The darkness… hurt her too… the Jedi… destroyed_." She shook her head. Her former padawan had to have been babbling. Yes, the darkness had been growing, but had it really gotten to the point where it was manipulating them, the servants of the light? Unlikely.

She was passing by Barriss's room when she heard a 'thump' and a muttered curse. Freezing in mid-step, she hovered by the door. _No one is supposed to be in there_, she thought. Uncomfortable though she was at the thought of entering Barriss's room, she knew that she was probably the only one who knew of the intruder. Taking a deep breath, she stepped through the doorway.

"Ani?"

"Hi, Master Luminara." The girl waved to her from the floor. "I'd apologize for my language, but my legs really hurt."

"What happened?"

"I found the package that Barriss left behind," Ani explained, "but I forgot about the haphazard pile of furniture." She pointed to the floating table. "Somehow that was on the side and I managed to trip into it." She made a face. "I fell after that and the table almost fell on top of me. I used the Force to keep it from squashing me."

"I see." Luminara used the Force gently maneuvered the table to sit softly on the ground. "May I ask why you were in Barriss's room in the first place? What's in the package?"

"Well, um…" Ani shuffled her feet. "You probably already know that I skipped class to see Barriss."

"Yes," Luminara said dryly. "Under the circumstances, I don't blame you. She is still your friend."

"Is that wrong?" Ani asked. "It means I'm too attached, aren't I?"

"Yes," Luminara said again, then added, "but we are all attached to different beings to different degrees. The key, Ani, is to not allow those attachments to cloud your judgment." She could feel her Force-senses tingling. "We should get out of here before someone senses us and starts interrogating."

"Air vent," Ani stated. Using the Force, she pulled off the grate directly overhead. "Come on!" She jumped towards the vent, using the Force to give her some lift. Luminara shook her head.

"I really don't want to know how she knows that," she muttered, using the Force to pull the grate up as she leapt into the air vent. Once she made sure it was on tight, she crawled after the girl. What felt like hours later (which was only five minutes, according to her chrono), Ani popped off another vent cover and dove through. Luminara was only to happy to follow. Once she was out, she saw Ani levitate the cover back up and fix it in place. She brushed at her robes, relieved to see that she wasn't as dirty as she thought she was.

"May I ask why you followed me into the vent?" Ani asked, turning to face her.

"Your idea was a good one. Also, being interrogated once by the Jedi Council was enough for the week. I don't need another one."

"They interrogated you?" Ani asked. Luminara could hear a hint of anger in her tone.

"They wanted to know the extent of what I knew about my padawan, probably to determine if it was my failings as a master, or if she failed her training."

"They found it was the second one, right?"

"Right."

"Good." Ani began to open the package.

"Yes, it is." Luminara stared at the girl. "Barriss told me that you were going to discover the truth behind the Temple bombing. I'm assuming she told you to find that package."

"She told you about me?"

"I guessed." Now was not the time to tell her the whole conversation. "She confirmed my guess."

"She did tell you it wasn't your fault, right?"

"More or less." She saw Ani take out a holoprojector disk. "Is that –"

"Ssh," Ani hissed. "Just let me handle this." She activated the disk and a blue image of Barriss popped up.

"Form?" it enquired.

"Kata Seven," Ani replied tersely.

"Date?"

"Today."

"Time?"

"Now."

"Master?" The youngling gave a short laugh.

"Since when?"

"Access granted." The image of a collected Barriss gave way to a crouched, exhausted-looking Barriss. "Video recording: One hour, twenty-one minutes." _A message for the youngling? _Luminara was puzzled. _Why go to all this trouble just to spill the truth?_

"Play," Ani stated. The image remained frozen for a few seconds before inhaling sharply.

"Hello, Ani." The image smiled softly. "By now I suppose I have been found out, tried, convicted, and sentenced to some horrible end. Not like it would end any other way, I suppose." She took a deep breath. "This is to help you understand why I did it. Obviously you won't be able to understand completely, but once this is done I hope you will be able to at least forgive me for what I did. Anything else is up to you."

Ani gently set down the holoprojector on the nearest table and sat on the adjacent couch. Luminara sat next to her, not too close yet not so far away that she couldn't see the entire recording. If Ani cared, she said nothing.

"I am recording this a week before I will set my plan in action. The purpose is to draw attention to the fact that the Jedi need to fix themselves and their precious traditions. Hopefully it will succeed. " The holographic Barriss paused, yawned and rubbed her eyes. "Sorry. I haven't been sleeping well. It's… well, it's because of these dreams I keep having. And that mission to Iridonia. Remember, Ani? That one after Drongar*, the one where I stayed with you for almost a week." She paused again. "I can still hear their screams." Luminara saw Ani shudder slightly. Whatever that had happened on that mission had been bad enough to affect both girls.

"Anyway, in my dreams I see the galaxy completely submerged in darkness, and with every battle on every world that the Jedi won the darkness grew. The darkness was always centered around Coruscant. Next I see the Jedi Temple in flames and the Jedi gone, declared as traitors. What Jedi are left, if any, are being hunted down. I saw Garen trying to shield someone else – a child, I believe – with his body, and Ferus Olin – you remember him? Probably vaguely, you and he never knew each other that well before he left – was battling a dark-suited figure. Darkness was surrounding all these scenes I saw. At first I dismissed it. You know how overtired you get, right? Well, they kept coming back, repeating the same story and growing darker each time." The figure shuddered. "I saw a Jedi murder _children_, Ani. _Children_! And not just the Jedi, but the clones as well. They were taking down the Jedi, being by being, showing no mercy. Yes, the Jedi fought back, but the clones kept pouring in to replace their dead comrades while the Jedi just lay slain on the floor. That's when I realized that we needed to stop this war. The events I described will happen if the Jedi are left in charge of war operations and fighting at the front. By removing them and replacing them with normal beings for commanders, the darkness has to adjust in order to use them as pawns, and that takes time. Time that could be used by the Jedi Council to uncover who actually was behind the darkness and manipulation.

"However, I realized all too soon that the Council was being manipulated themselves." Barriss's tone darkened. "My mission to Iridonia made that all too clear. I never discussed my mission to Iridonia to you, Ani, and for good reason: I didn't want to drag you into my spiral of doubt. Your optimism and sarcasm lightened what was left of my spirits; I didn't want to take that away from you." A heavy sigh escaped Barriss's lips. "Now, I must tell you. Not for you to lose what makes you, you, but for you to understand why I stated that 'trust is overrated.'

"When I arrived, the world was a mess. The Separatists were almost finished with bombing the planet and capturing the people. I broke through their blockade and began systematically taking one camp after another. My efforts to heal the more critically injured were stonewalled at first. The Iridonians were suspicious of my intentions, and I couldn't blame them. To them, with my lightsaber and Force-powers, I seemed to be on the same side as Count Dooku and the Sith. However, I gradually earned their trust, particularly after I saved their leader from dying at Grievous's hands.

"Afterwards, they were eager to help my forces free their people. In return, they asked that I help them not only reclaim but also rebuild their homeworld. My orders were specifically to free the people and break the blockade, not to get involved in any uprisings or aid them in bringing stability to the planet, mainly because the Iridonians were technically not part of the Republic and didn't want to make it seem like they were forcing them to join. Also didn't want to make them dependent on outside forces for critical decisions, both political and personal. I managed to follow those orders for about a week. I disobeyed my orders when I distracted Separatist troops from attempting to annihilate the Iridonian troops, resulting in few casualties on our side and almost completely destroyed the enemy's ranks." She gave a small, sad smile.

"The Jedi Council didn't like how I handled things. They told me that they couldn't send any more reinforcements, that I would have to handle things with what I had. It worked until the attempted invasion by the Separatists. I sent out another call, but they said the same thing. I sent more, but they were blocked. The Iridonians were about to be mass murdered by a bunch of tin-plated robots, and the Jedi Council didn't care, all because I disobeyed orders once. _Once_." She shook her head.

"Fortunately, combining their stubbornness and aggressiveness with my troops and our ingenuity gave us the win in the end. Remember that bota I was telling you about? I used it. I had to, or we would have lost. Power is not bad, Ani, not like we were taught. You just have to be careful how you use it. We sent them running back to the Outer Rim. Afterwards, the Iridonian leader gave me a medal. He was impressed with how I handled the situation, especially when I chose to stay with them longer to help them begin rebuilding." Barriss chuckled, her tone lightening. "He awarded me one of the highest honors a non-Iridonian could receive and told me I would always be welcome on their world. I could never fully explain to him what an honor it was, but I believe he understood.

"When I returned to Coruscant," her tone hardened again, "I was called before the Council to explain my actions. I asked them why we weren't attempting to protect all planets from the Separatists. I was severely chastised for thinking that those planets were as important as the Republic-owned worlds. I made the mistake of asking whether it was more important that we helped out all beings as we saw fit or if we were going to continue to be Republic puppets. Mace Windu especially talked me to death on how we were servants to the Republic, duty came before personal obligation, belief, and blah blah blah. It only confirmed my thoughts that the Council lost their way and needed changing, desperately. I was pouring out the whole story to my mechanic later when he casually asked if I would mind talking with some of his friends. I did, and that's when I realized that several of the workers here believed as I did. All they needed was direction and access to the bombs." She smiled slightly before launching into an explanation of her plans to obtain the bombs and how Letta's husband became the unknowing victim. "More will die than what they think is necessary, but if there is to be change for the better, it must come at a cost. We must be willing to pay that cost, especially if it will bring peace and unity to the galaxy.

"I hope this at least makes you feel less hostile towards me," the holographic image stated, looking straight at Ani. "Hopefully you understood why I did what I did. Maybe you'll help bring this war to a close, without all the destruction and darkness I saw. Maybe you can persuade the Council better than I could. No matter what, all I ask of you, Ani, is to remain alive. I don't care if everyone abandons you; you live and live long, dammit! We both have had far too many friends die in this cruddy war, and even if my visions don't come to fruition there will still be a lot of work to do to repair the galaxy.

"Be safe, Ani. Especially out on the front." The hologram looked over her shoulder, then back at the recording eye. "I'm afraid I must cut this short. May the Force be with you, my friend." The recording froze; Barriss's hand reaching out so realistically that Ani reacted on impulse and tried to grab it. All she got was a handful of air.

"Ani, I –" Luminara paused. She took in the youngling's frozen form, the outstretched hand, and the tears that began to drip down her face. Nothing she said would heal this young one's pain and confusion. Healing came with time, forgiveness, and trust in the Force. She had gotten to the point where she could emotionally distance herself from the event. Did it still hurt? Yes. Could she look back without emotions running amok? Yes. Ani didn't have that ability, not yet. She reached out, took hold of the youngling by the shoulders, and pulled her close. She felt the girl stiffen at the contact, then, gradually, she relaxed into the hug.

"Everything will be alright, young one," Luminara whispered into her ear.

"Barriss's fate will be decided tomorrow, by the Senate, not the Jedi, and she just admitted information that could possibly change it from execution to a long prison sentence," Ani choked out. "This war is still continuing, no matter where we go beings believe as she does, and more Jedi die. _How_, in the name of the Force, _will everything be alright_?"

"Because the Force runs through it all," Luminara responded quietly. "The Force allows things to happen in the galaxy for a reason. This war that we're living in, whether it means the destruction of the Republic or not, was allowed to happen. Why? I cannot say. I can only say that the Force knows why, that it will work out for our good, and all it asks of us is that we trust it."

"Even when we are surrounded by death and destruction?" Ani demanded. "Even when help does not come and the enemy threatens to overwhelm our forces? Even then, Master Unduli?"

"Especially then, Ani." Luminara gently grasped the youngling's chin and raised it so their eyes could meet. "To have hope in the Force, which controls everything in the galaxy, is to believe in the dawn after the rising darkness. You lose your hope in it, you have nothing to hope in." As she looked into the girl's eyes, she saw that she understood.

"I – It – it still h-hurts," Ani whispered, brokenly.

"I know," Luminara whispered back. "I know." She continued to hold the Ani, pretending to not see the teary eyes clear themselves as quickly as possible, as the girl slowly emotionally exhausted herself. Unlike before, this did not involve stories or anecdotes about their fallen comrade, but instead subsisted on reassurances that the Force was not as cruel as it seemed. They stayed that way for a while, the older woman comforting the younger. Just because she understood didn't mean that it hurt any less.

After sending the young one a sleep suggestion, Luminara gently laid the young one to rest on the couch. Trusting the Force was never easy, but as servants of the Force all doubts had to be cast aside. The war was making her feel both mentally and physically old, but every time she saw beings and planets liberated, obtaining the freedom to make their own decisions for themselves, and especially the new Jedi coming to the Temple to get trained, she knew that everyone would come out stronger in the end. War made you realize who your friends and allies were, what priorities needed to be set, and most importantly, what was worth fighting for. There was good amidst this chaos and destruction.

She Force-floated a blanket on top of the sleeping girl, and after turning the light settings down several notches, she stepped out into the corridor. Barriss's message gave her a lot to think on, not just the effect the war had on their numbers but where the line was drawn between duty to one's friends and duty to the greater good. She missed the days where it was easier to find a middle ground between the two.

The Underworld was dangerous, more so in the night. Despite being concealed within her cloak and having three lightsabers on her person (two within a backpack, along with the holographic message), Ani still felt her hairs stand up on end. It wasn't a bad thing. Better to be cautious than arrogant, or worse, oblivious.

_The worst part is not knowing how to get into contact with Ahsoka_, Ani thought. _Her comlink isn't answering, like I thought, and I could try to reach out with the Force but I might draw unwanted attention to myself_.

She saw a hooded female figure walking adjacent to her, and turned slightly so they wouldn't meet yet she could gain a glimpse of the being's face. Suddenly, a voice whispered in her ear, "You're coming with us, Jedi."

Speaking of unwanted attention…

In a low voice, she responded, "I have no money, nor nothing of value that could possibly warrant your time."

"True. However, your lightsabers would make a welcome addition to my lightsaber collection," the voice continued. Ani hissed through her teeth; how could she have been so stupid?

"Ventress, if you really wanted to duel, you could have knocked," she pouted. With the way the dark Jedi was tugging on her arm, she was being led towards a nearby alleyway; the other hooded figure already vanished. She highly doubted the chances of not seeing that being again.

"Ah, but here our meeting would be under more… satisfying terms. People down here wouldn't care so much about a Jedi being murdered in front of their eyes."

"If you say so." Through the alleyway they went, making a left, two rights, another left, and finally through a culvert that led to a startling spacious yet secret room. Once they arrived, Ani felt herself be whipped around and slammed against a wall.

"Alright, Ani," Ventress sneered, flipping up the visor to her helmet. "I want to know why a Jedi youngling would wander the worst districts of Coruscant at night." Ani glared at her.

"I am looking for Ahsoka Tano," she stated. "I have a gift for her. A gift that she could not live without."

"What makes you think your pathetic little friend is still on Coruscant?"

"You're still here," Ani stated. "You both bonded while Ahsoka was on the run. Now that she's no longer a Jedi, you would be the first person she would come to."

"So? I could have just run her off," Asajj bragged.

"Not after what happened. You would accept any help she may offer in return for her to be transported to whatever planet of her choice, if that. You wouldn't mind travelling with another person who you wouldn't have to hide your abilities around."

"Why, you little –"

"Enough!" A familiar voice rang out. "Asajj, she poses no danger to us. If she would have, you wouldn't have captured her like you did. Release her." Asajj rolled her eyes and did as she was told while Ani stared at the being in relief.

"Hello, Ahsoka," she said.

"Hello, Ani." The Togruta had removed her head covering, which now could be seen as part of her human disguise. "You have something for me?"

"Uh… yeah." Ani winced. "Promise you're not going to kill me?"

"We were friends, Ani. I promise I won't hurt you. Trust me."

_I've learned that _trust_ is overrated_. Barriss's words came back to haunt the youngling. She took a deep breath. Probably not the best time to say that Barriss sent her regards and congratulations.

"I bring three items that were left behind, two intentional, the other accidental." She slowly knelt on the ground, took off her backpack, and reached inside. "The first two you'll need, for safety's sake." Ahsoka gasped as she looked upon the twin familiar hilts.

"Saves us time from trying to infiltrate the Temple to retrieve those for you," Ventress stated.

"The second one is a message. Whether you listen to it or not is up to you." She deposited the hologram into Ahsoka's hands and looked into her eyes. "Remember that, as dark as everything is, something is going on in the shadows." She shouldered her pack. "Be safe. Be invisible." She cracked a smile. "Hopefully I will see you again soon." By now, Ahsoka's lightsabers were clipped onto her belts, and she was staring at the hologram, seemingly bewildered.

"How do we know it's not a bomb?" Asajj hissed.

"You don't. All you have is my word on it." Ani looked again to Ahsoka. "You are my friend, Ahsoka. We've been through a bit of trouble here and there and have gotten out okay. If there's anything I can help you with, please contact me."

"I'll keep that in mind," Ahsoka smiled at her. "Is there anything else I should know about this hologram?"

"Give the speaker a chance." When Ahsoka looked to protest that, Ani continued, "She gave you another chance." Ahsoka looked to Asajj and nodded. The tension eased up a little.

"I will. Thank you for making the trip."

"No problem," Ani replied, looking around the room, feeling slightly confined.

"Now, can one of you please show me the way out of here?" Seeing the look on Asajj's face, she quickly amended, "Preferably still living, of course."

It was time. Classes had been cancelled and students had been brought to various viewing rooms, to the point of the Temple coming to an almost standstill. Barriss Offee's trial was about to begin.

Ani was up in front, ignoring some of the looks she was getting by some of her fellow students. None of her friends had her current class, and since she couldn't see them in the packed room she felt it wasn't worth the time or trouble to look for them. Besides, she might lose her spot.

"Young one, may I join you?" She inclined her head gracefully towards the Jedi Master.

"You may, Master Unduli." Now twice the buzz was going around the gathered Jedi. Both ignored it.

"Now I know how Anakin feels whenever he does something unexpected," Ani whispered.

"How does he usually deal with it?" Luminara asked.

"Either he does something even more cocky and unexpected or he acts egotistical," Ani responded. "Inside, however, he really wishes they'd stop bothering him. He told me if I ever felt annoyed by a certain being to be polite on the outside while imagining amusing ways to humiliate or torment them in my mind."

"Normally, I would say you need to behave yourself," Luminara began. "I have done it several times myself, though, so I can't really scold either of you for going that route. Considering we're surrounded by fellow Jedi, however, I suggest saving that for later."

"True," Ani said, looking thoughtful. "No need for them to get the jump on us, after all."

"It's starting," Luminara stated, attention immediately focused on the screen. The image was filming right above Chancellor Palpatine's head, focused on capturing his entire staff within his moving pulpit. The image changed to the prisoner's moving skiff, complete with guards except for the prisoner. Ani felt a lump in her throat. _This is it._

Suddenly, Mas Amedda looked down at his datapad. What was interesting was his furrowed brow. He whispered in Palpatine's ear, who looked rather disturbed after he had finished.

"My dear Senators and fellow beings," he began. "I know how eager all of you are to witness the verdict given to one of the worst traitors to ever serve our beloved Republic. However, due to mysterious circumstances, the traitor former Jedi Knight Barriss Offee has escaped her prison cell." The screen flashed to an image of the cell. The Force field had seemingly exploded, leaving black burn marks around the outside of the entrance. Some small metal fragments had been seen, along with a cut in the wall Ani thought looked suspiciously like a lightsaber scorch.

"Fortunately, none of the guards have been killed. The most serious injuries were concussions and burn marks. From the evidence gathered, our technicians believe someone helped her escape. If anyone has information regarding this traitor and her accomplice's whereabouts, please contact the authorities as soon as possible. Remember, she ended many lives. There is no reason to believe that she will not do the same to you. Justice must be done upon her. Thank you."

As soon as the message finished, all nine hells of Corellia broke out in the room. Amidst the chatter and arguing, Ani and Luminara glanced at each other. "That was a shock," the elder woman commented.

"Yes," Ani agreed. "However, we really should have seen it coming."

"Especially with her evasiveness the other day. " Both were silent.

"Would you like to get a drink?" Ani grinned mischievously.

"Does this mean alcohol?"

"No, but it would be nice to get away from here."

"True. The upper levels of the Temple are a nice place to go. Less crowds."

"Agreed. Ready?"

"Let's go." Together they maneuvered out of the crowd and towards the stairs.

"You do realize that the Council might ask you to hunt her down, right?" Ani asked.

"All they will ask is for me to keep an eye out for her," Luminara responded. "Otherwise, it's back to business as usual. After all, there is a war on."

"I wonder who broke her out."

"Probably wise not to speculate. After all, someone could overhear us and think we broke her out." Ani let out a groan.

"I really do not need another headache."

"Neither do I. As you said, being chastised by the Council is enough for one week."

The confusion was loud enough that no one heard the chuckling resounding from the stairwell.

*_In my headcannon, the temple bombing takes place after Drongar. I can't imagine any other way that Barriss could have done something so drastic without her Master becoming suspicious. Ergo, when she bombs the Temple, she's a Knight._


End file.
